whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
