I am spending my child support on dildos
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I am available for nakedness
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize