So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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