She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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