Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
