let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
