fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
