Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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