I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
