if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
