i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
