in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
