I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
