Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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