I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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