new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All the doctor said was why
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
