remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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