My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
