so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
