Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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