About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
