the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
