New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
