I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
