I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
