I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
