I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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