i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
