He asked to "fluff my boner.."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize