He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
