it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I will be naked everywhere
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize