So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
