I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
