Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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