my vag is so smooth its legendary
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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