i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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