Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize