walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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