About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
