She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
