Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
