the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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