you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He felt like a one man threesome
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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