All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
