Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize