im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
