The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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