you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
