On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
