It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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