real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
