Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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