ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
sarcasm needs its own font
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I touched a dick in church today
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