it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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