her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
