no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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