I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
